Bittersweet

I came across this blog post from Amy Riordan and thought it was worded perfectly. After having lived this out, I hope you find this helpful. Thanks for reading!

                                           

Bitterness is described in the bible as a root that brings forth destructive fruit.  We don’t always recognize it for what it is, but it’s effects are deadly.  Bitterness can start out as something so small that we don’t even notice it.  This is one of the reasons that forgiving others is so important.  Unresolved unforgiveness can result in bitterness that destroys your life and those around you.

Heb 12:15 says, ‘See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled’

I find it interesting that bitterness is described as a root.  Roots grow underground for quite some time without becoming visible. They are there, you just can’t see them.  The root of bitterness begins to grow very quietly.  By the time it sprouts up, a lot has already taken place “underground” to destroy your heart.  Let’s face it.  It can feel really good to stay mad at someone!  It can also feel really good to plot out in your mind what you would do to this person if you had the chance. I know this all too well!

I have recently had to forgive someone who has hurt me.  It would be so easy to stay angry and keep plotting in my mind all of the things I would do “if I wasn’t a Christian”. The fact is, though, I AM a Christian!  Being a Christian does not make me perfect, but it does show me a better way of living. Following Christ has shown me how to be the better person in a situation when people do their best to hurt me.

How do you know you may have a root of bitterness?

• Are you continually thinking destructive thoughts about someone?
• Are you happy at the misfortune of somebody?
• Do you wish harm upon someone?
• Are you always thinking up scenarios in your head about what you wish you could do to someone to harm them?
• Do you feel sick to your stomach when you see a person you don’t like?
• Do you find yourself trying to turn others against someone you dislike?

If you can relate to any of these examples, I caution you to be careful!  All of us have been hurt by people. Sometimes they hurt us on purpose, and this can feel like someone just drove a stake through our hearts. Other times, people can hurt us when it’s not intentional. Either way, forgiveness is not an option. Even if the person who hurts us does not realize what he/she did (or denies it), we are to forgive. We have to be very purposeful in forgiving, before a root of bitterness is planted in us.  I’ve learned that holding onto unforgiveness only hurts me, not the one who hurt me!

Joyce Meyer said in her book, “Beauty For Ashes”, this statement regarding unforgiveness:

“First, let me say that it is not possible to have good emotional health while harboring bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. Harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die! Unforgiveness poisons anyone who holds it, causing him to become bitter. And it is impossible to be bitter and get better at the same time!”

The bible also tells us that if we do not forgive others, God will not forgive us!
Mark 11:25-26 says “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins.”

This puts it in a new light for me.  I cannot imagine how many times God has had to forgive me!  (And how many MORE times He will need to forgive me before I die!) I don’t want to put myself in the position of God not forgiving me just because I am too prideful to forgive someone else.  That’s a dangerous place to be in, and it’s not worth it!

Is it easy to forgive?  No

Does forgiving mean that we are justifying what the other person did?  No

Do we still need to forgive because we are commanded to do so?  Yes

Are we set free as a result of forgiving?  Yes!

When we choose to forgive, we are set free from anger, bitterness and the destruction it places on our hearts.  Forgiveness can be a journey, but it’s worth the work it takes to get there!  Don’t let your heart be bitter against anyone.  Ask God to show you how to forgive anyone you may be holding unforgiveness against.  It’s not going to be easy, but the rewards are so worth it!  You will allow God to bless you with peace and healing in your heart and life if you choose His way and forgive.

Dear Lord, please show me if there is anyone that I need to forgive. Forgiving them means that I am choosing Your way, instead of my own.  Thank you, Jesus, for revealing to me the damage that unforgiveness and bitterness can cause.  I want to be free from it all and follow Your way – which always leads to freedom.  Thank you, Jesus! In Your name I pray.  Amen.

Skunk or Rose

Jason and I have been blessed with a colorful past together that we have been able to use to hopefully help others.  We have facilitated...ok-mostly him...many biblical based marriage classes in the recent past.  Our most recent one is my favorite, Love and Respect.  There are many gut wrenching truths that were revealed in the study and tools to overcome some common struggles that marriages encounter. Honestly, these principles apply to any relationship. 

Marriage was designed by God not to make us happy, but to make us holy.  It represents the relationship of Christ and the church. It reveals many things about us- some good and some not so good.  But one of the themes of the Love and Respect series was...my response is my responsibility.  And I was reminded that really this applies to any relationship we have.  Marriage is hard. People are different. Relationships are difficult. But overall...your response is your responsibility.
No matter what is done or said to you or about you and yours...to your face....behind your back....expected or unexpected-its not the person or the words that cause us to react in a negative way. Ok , I will quit sugar coating things...the person or the words don't cause us to be shocked, angry, hurt, bitter etc.... Those are choices we make!  The person or the incident does not CAUSE us to act the way we do , yet it REVEALS the way that we are. So ask yourself...what is it that will spill out...Will you be a skunk or a rose?  We can only change how we act/react to things. How we act/react will not change someone's bad behavior.  No way, no how! Being loud and disrespectful with our hands on our hips won't change the other person.  Stonewalling won't change the other person.   

Another favorite concept that can certainly apply to all relationships is that Christ is revealed TO others in how we TREAT others.  Whoa! Because we love God and because we are followers of Christ, we must treat others with the love of Christ.  So in other words...It's not about you and ________, it's about you and Christ.  Here comes the part that made me almost bolt out of the Sunday School room.  Everything we do/say to our spouse, we do/say to Christ. The way we interact in conflict with others not only reveals who we are but it is also a way of revealing Christ to others and it just may be that person you are yelling at or being ugly to. So next time there is conflict with a spouse or a friend, an opportunity to speak negative against someone, a negative conversation that you dont have to attend, just  picture Christ and ask yourself , "If this were Christ, would I be doing or saying these things?"

We can kick and scream all we want thinking we are all right and they are all wrong. But in the end, is that the resolution? No...we remember that the person or the circumstance is not the enemy- it is Satan, the Father of all discord and chaos who would love for people to be at each others throats.  We remember that God is love and we are made in His image.  We remember our response is our responsibility...no matter what! We remember that our lives as Christians should be living examples of Christ.

So when someone bumps into you, what will be revealed...a skunk or a rose?

You Mean Me?

Have you ever wondered what Jesus looks like? What do you think He looks like?

This was the opening question to the message this past Sunday.  My mind went back to pictures in Bible story books and such.  As I drifted in and out of what was being said with mental images of a man with long, brown hair going through my head, I heard the pastor say, “He looks like you…me…us”.  As followers of Jesus, we put off the old self and are transformed to become like Him.  We take on his characteristics and become Jesus to others.  He went on to talk about the holiness of Jesus.  Webster defines holiness as “exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness”.  To be holy is to be different from the world so that others recognize the difference and want what is missing in their lives.  Being a good example to others because we may be the only Jesus they come in contact with.  

The excuse of being a sinner is often overused in many offenses.  In Romans Paul says where there is sin that grace is greater.  Even we as Christians are our own worst enemy and we take advantage of the grace as the basis of the excuse to continue in the same sin.  I fully agree that we are sinners, but where there has been conviction and repentance, “the sin” should become more difficult to embrace and hopefully avoided.  Can we be perfect? Absolutely not…but to use the above excuse to not strive for Christ’s perfection is amiss.  We have to strive to be more holy, more like Jesus.

So if we take on his characteristics, what exactly should others see in us in our day to day lives?  The fruit of the Spirit reveals 9 characteristics we have probably all heard.  I researched some other traits that include:

Forgiving others, even for insignificant things and not being resentful. Ignoring wrongs so relationships can be healed.

Humility- admitting that God is responsible for our achievements.  Not thinking we are “all that”.  There is always someone that is better than us in any given situation, no matter what our title is.  Submission and serving others, not thinking everyone should serve us. 

Honesty & truthfulness- Doing what is right and being straight forward with others. 

Obedience- submitting to do what God requires of us.

Reverence- recognizing and respecting people, not just because of their position but because they are our brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Avoiding Anger- knowing its destructive force and striving to maintain serenity

Being a good example- We have to live out what we believe.  Literally “be” Jesus to others.

Communication- Be willing to share thoughts, feelings, and actions in a kind manner that reflects Christ.  This works in conjunction with being straightforward. One thing is for sure…no situation will get better without communication of the concern.

Being discreet- not bullying people with personality types or actions, or even with sound and right opinions.  Yet being genuinely respectful in what we say and do. 

Being Decisive- sticking to right and just decisions, based on God’s perfect will.  Letting our “yesses” be yes and our “nos” be no and not letting the presence of other people or situations cause us to waiver.

Integrity- this allows us to keep our word and do our best even when no one else is looking.  

Boy have I got some work to do!  I enjoyed reading through the list I found because they were all applicable to interacting with others on a daily basis.  I am guilty of only being aware of the traits when I am at church, in Bible Study and when I am about God’s business.  They seem to go out the door any other time and I feel I can act and treat people however I choose.  This was a good reminder to me.  Thanks for reading! Go be Jesus to someone today!

 

New Life

Today is the first day of spring. This beautiful season of blooming flowers and such always reminds me of new life.  God’s beautiful creation seems to become vibrant with colors and comes to life this time of year.  Springtime always means Easter is right around the corner.  Unfortunately, the true meaning of Easter seems to always be dampened with bunnies and eggs.  Before you get disgusted and call me a prude, my kids will be hiding and/or hunting eggs along with many others.  It is so much fun for them and us too!  

New life.  So how do you make a life that already exists a new life?  What exactly does that mean?  If a life is made new … there had to be death of the old life.  So, without death, there is no life. 

If we are still here on this earth and get to experience a new life, our old self has to die.  We become a new person.  

Even if we, or a loved one, experiences death then we still experience a new, eternal life in heaven. 

But how?  How is all of this possible? What has to be done? What has to be said? Nothing and nothing.  It is strictly if we believe.  Being a Christian, a Christ follower, is hard for non-believers to understand because it is based on faith.  Nothing that can be seen or touched… simply a belief.  Yet so difficult…faith alone.  

Many years ago, a baby was born in a stable.  This baby was no ordinary baby.  This baby was born of a virgin.  This baby grew up and lived on this earth and experienced life much like we do today….(well sort of, minus the Lady Gaga’s and such).  He performed many miracles and served others. He taught that love was and still is the greatest commandment.   He lived life and never sinned.  He loved the people of this world so much- sinners, you and me, that he gave his life for us.  He died for us.  He experienced a cruel death by being nailed to a cross.  The story doesn’t end there- Praise the Lord!  Three days later, he rose from the grave.  

This is the gospel story…Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection.  This is the death that gives new life.  A life that allows us to travel around each and every day with His Spirit in us guiding us.  His Spirit in us makes us different from the world.  We choose differently because we are Spirit filled. Our lives begin to look different because we become reflections of Him.  Are we perfect? No…we simply have forgiveness and hope when we screw it all up.  Sure, sometimes that Spirit gets squashed and our flesh overtakes us because we are sinners.  But because of a death on a cross, we are forgiven.  We are made new.  We get a do over…  IF we believe. Who in this life doesn’t need another chance?

Do you believe? 

Romans 10:9 

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  

2 Corinthians 5:17 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

It's a Zoo Out There!

My hubs is a wise man.  Beyond his ability to participate in Jeopardy with the best of them and win at just about every trivia game there is, he has great words of wisdom for me when I need them most.  Here are a few:
Two hurts don't make a right.
Never form an opinion/assumption/judgment until you have heard from all parties involved. (He is still a cop at heart I guess)
Your own business keeps you busy enough so stay out of everyone elses. 
Do your job, do it well, and don't worry about what others are or are not doing.
...And my recent all time favorite is never be a sheep or a wolf. 

Let me explain because I know if you are familiar with the parable in God's word, you would prefer to be a sheep rather a goat.  Actually, I will give credit where credit is due- He actually learned this profound statement from Chris Kyle's father (American Sniper). Actually I believe Chris' father learned it from a veteran named Grossman.  The moral of the story goes like this.  There are three kinds of people in this world: "wolves, sheep, and sheepdogs."  Grossman's metaphor was to issue a call to action to defend yourself against your enemies.  "If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen: a sheep.  If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath- a wolf.  But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for you fellow citizens?  Then you are a sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path."  Hence the advice..."Never be a sheep or a wolf!"

This profound military statement reminded me of Matthew10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves:  be therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Dove- harmlessness and innocence
Serpent-wisdom and cunning

The take home message is that the Lord wants us to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves.  That is, we adapt the cunning of the serpent, but not to the extent that we trick, deceive, harm, injure, and we adapt the gentleness and innocence of the dove but not to the extent that we cannot teach, rebuke, or stand for the truth.  To be wise but not harmful, and to be gentle but not weak.  This is a perfect harmony of wisdom and gentleness because they both somewhat limit each other.  This is actually the wisdom and gentleness that Christ lived. 

It truly is a zoo out there! Sheep, wolves, sheepdogs, serpents, dove...What will you choose?

I will leave you with a few verses.

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance...

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Sleepless in Milli

As I toss and turn on another sleepless night wondering why I keep waking up at 3-4am every morning, I decide to put my racing thoughts into words. Why is it that my thoughts seem so clear when I can't sleep? Maybe it's the silence? No chaos. No confusion. No loud chatter. No negativity. No self seeking motives. No twisting or bending of facts. No distractions. Only me and God. He whispers, " I am not the author of confusion." So the people and situations that I still can't wrap my mind around become clearer and the sinking, unresolved feeling fades.

 Sometimes people never take responsibility, no matter what. For some reason they don't understand how it looks when they say one thing and do another. Some are good at sweeping things under the rug while others are lingering trying to figure out where things went wrong... Lost in the bends and twists. Some people assume others are stuck in their self destructing past and continue to remind them of it by labeling them as having serious problems.

God never makes me feel my friendship with Him is more of a burden than a benefit. He is faithful and doesn't find me difficult. He is my Rock. He loves me more than I can put into words! He provides reassurance and peace. It is Him I should go to.... Always! I'm not sure how many times He will put me in situations that when down the road I look back and ask, " why do I put so much faith and hope in fellow man?" As humans, we, I, am rotten to the core. I wonder why or how He could even love us? He sent His only Son to die for us flesh seeking humans!

Love so undeniable I can hardly think!
Peace so unexplainable I can hardly speak!
Your a good, good father-that's who you are
and I'm loved by You-that's who I am!

As my mind eases and eyes become heavy, I am content in His love!

Love you, friend!
Thanks for keeping me company on another sleepless night.

El Roi, The God Who Sees

As part of my graduate studies in nursing, our class visited the Capitol to mingle and voice our concerns of the laws that make the nurse practitioner role difficult in Georgia.  If you know me at all, you know I am nothing near a political woman and  I can assure you I was there because it was expected of me to go...for the grade.  I remember standing there quietly, dressed professionally, pretending to be important.  I knew I would never approach a Congressman and discuss anything.  All around me I could here these very political, intellectual sounding conversations.  In that moment, I  remember feeling unimportant.  In that particular instance, for me, I preferred to remain unseen and unheard...invisible.  Remaining invisible is never once preference.  However, there comes a time when even the quietest of people want to feel seen and heard.

Sometimes, we allow the world to convince us that we are not worthy.

Sometimes, we compare ourselves to others and quickly decide we are invisible and she isn't.  We are less, she is more.  We are insecure.  She is confident.  We are wanna be's. She has arrived.  The comparison game causes us to do ugly things.  We begin to strive to be heard.  Then we begin to sulk and just want to throw in the towel.  The feeling of being invisible begins to compound.  

Sometimes, God reminds us of a recent Bible study we participated in and the scripture leaps out at us.  I am reminded that other people don't necessarily speak for God.  Because I am not invisible to Him, I can be in a crowded room of important strangers and remember I am seen by the only One who really matters.  

Matthew 6:33 "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  

One of my all time favorites...

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."


Suddenly, I realize God is my El Roi.  He sees me.  He listens to me.  He cares about my feelings.  I am important to Him.  And for some stinkin' reason, He loves me more than I will ever know.

Seeking Him,
Leah