Winding Down

The year 2012 brought with it lots of challenges for me.  My work relocated to a brand spankin' new, huge, modern, cool,  and any other adjective you can think of...facility (without furry visitors with long tails might I add).  I am super excited!  But reality set in upon my return after the holidays- along with a new facility came lots of other changes.  Everything changed  and I finally had to surrender to the fight of not wanting to learn the ropes of the new layout and routine.   I am not one who works well in chaos, at least I need  organized chaos....a plan.  This aspect makes me realize why I never wanted to be an ER nurse.  I don't react well on the fly and  I have to be settled and know what is to come so I can be prepared as much as possible.  The whole idea of being prepared for the masses of students this semester is relative.  The plan we put into place may not work. My coworkers have probably gotten many laughs  because I tend to get panicky when trying to figure out different scenarios of how it will be.  But that is just it- nobody knows how it will be until it comes to be!  ((((Insert loud scream))))  Hopefully, I won't be written off as a psychiatric case and they will be patient with my neurotic self!  So needless to say, I have had a couple of frustrating days at work.  It will be great as usual once all of the kinks are worked out and everyone simmers down.

To top off my day...I tried a new pinterest dessert after supper and it was a flop!  So I am now tucked away in my closet, my latest and greatest sanctuary I  created for my quiet time.  Kicked back in my papasan chair, as far away as possible from everyone else, I sip my coffee and eat my ice cream.  I hear the quiet roar of my space heater and I slowly wind down from this crazy day! I better crawl back out- its bath time for the kids.  Until next time...

365 Days & Counting

New Years always brings me to a time of reflection and as I have done so...2011 was the best year ever! I realized on December 31st at about 1130pm that I had experienced a peace in my marriage for 365 days.  If you have read my previous posts or know me well enough, you are aware that what Satan intended for bad- God intended for good! 

These things I took away from 2011:

I learned to let go of doubt and live in the fullness of God's promises.

I openly and freely worship my Savior through song...and love doing it!

I have read the Bible and prayed with my husband...almost every night.

I witnessed the love of my life being baptized and now he can't talk about the things God has done for him without holding back tears. 

Jordan was saved and baptized.... on the same day her father was!  What a sweet day!

I have watched Jordan grow up and she has a sweet, quiet (usually...unless her brother is around) spirit! I am very proud to call her my daughter.

Britton has grown into the most loving young lad... he gives me frequent hugs and lovin' and tells me he loves me ....randomly- I love it!  I am glad he takes after the Barbee's with his affection! 

God has proved himself so faithful to me!

Parker Street has been repopulated 10 fold!  I have gained some awesome new friends and neighbors!

I realized I worry way too much of what others think of me!  This is the most ridiculous problem I have...If I tried to please God as much as I did others...everything would be more than alright!

I have strengthened some friendships due to God being the common denominator! I have also learned to let go of other friendships that were obstacles to me growing in the Lord.

I learned I can't change people and make them choose a Godly lifestyle.

God has blessed me indeed! I have learned so much in 2011- I can't wait to see what God has for me in 2012!  It's back to the real world tomorrow!  I pray that each of you have a Happy New Year and make this year be your best year ever!

Meet Holly

I have never been a lover of big dogs but small dogs have a way of luring me in.  Well, Santa left this sweet pooch under our tree for us all to enjoy.  It has been interesting ...to say the least.  It seems as if I was am the only one really concerned  stressed out about her peeing or pooping in the house.  We are crate-traing her and she is doing awesome!  Only 3 accidents so far.  Yikes! But that has been since we got her...so she has done extrememly well the past couple of days.  We got lots of laughs after the pee pee accidents when Jordan immediately said yelled ...in tears...mama, you're gonna sell her aren't you...we have only had her 2 days!? My goodness, I never realized I came across as such a tyrant!  We all have fully recovered and are thouroughly enjoying Holly!

These things Holly has learned since joining us:

This family has lots of kids that help her get TONS of exercise.

This is one busy household.

When she sees Britton coming ..she probably says..."oh no...not again ...and expects a running match but loads of fun!"

When she sees Jordan (liitle mama) coming she can expect lots of loving and snuggling.

That when her mama (me) isn't happy...no one is happy- so she best be on her best behavior:)

When she sees daddy (Jason) she knows she can melt his heart...he even decked her out in a pink color and leash...I just knew she would be bulldog'd out.

And last but definitely not least...her cow hoof is the best thing since sliced bread.

Christmas Memories

My memory fails me very frequently, just ask my beloved husband.  But these sweet Christmas memories are sweetly embedded...

Santa used to make one stop at our house to visit Derek, Lindsey and Jamie- as well as Bonnie and I...when the grand kids came- we were chopped liver:)  This was before ALL of the other grand kids came to be.  When I think back...I am not sure where Mama put us- as everyone stayed at our house on Christmas Eve. I remember our living room looked like a bomb had gone off on Christmas morning.  Fun times!

The Christmas Bonnie and I got our 3 wheeler (unheard of now).  Mama and Daddy had told us no way, no how, would we get one (no matter how much we begged).  Santa brought Derek a battery powered 3 wheeler this year and he had already opened his.  Our helmets were wrapped and when we opened them I  thought they were for us to enjoy his battery powered 3 wheeler.  I know... right!?...keep in mind I was lots younger.  You can imagine the excitement when we discover there was a "real" 3 wheeler under the carport.

Alternating between Aunt Faye's house one year then our house the next and laughing at them when they couldn't remember whose year it was to host. 

Mama cooking constantly during the holidays!  I loved growing up in a house that was always the place for entertainment.  My mom was a great cook, host,  and entertainer!

Helping Mama decorate the house for Christmas with Alabama's "Christmas in Dixie" playing in the background. 

I think of Mama often but especially during the holidays!  I miss her beautiful smile and contagious laugh!  Merry Christmas Mama, my favorite Christmas memory!

Consumption

What is it that consumes you?  Unfortunately, I have tons of things that I allow to consume me.  As I sit here and listen to Hillsong's "Consume Me From the Inside Out" I let this be my prayer for today.  I am aware that what people see on the outside is sometimes far removed from what is in my heart. I like to call it my "Sunday going to church face".   Why do I try to live this facade? I am very aware that my Creator knows my heart so I am not quite sure who I think I am fooling.  If we were all honest with ourselves we could all probably relate to one of my  recent Pinterest findings.  The quote goes something like this..."I may look calm but in my mind I have killed you 3 times." Don't get any weird ideas...I would never kill anyone...on purpose. However, I did think it was comical.

 Hopefully I have made you chuckle rather than question my sanity.  Welcome to my crazy world!

God, I know you are real. You have proved that to me in Your word and in my own life. I pray that today I would be consumed with thoughts of You. Let people hear and see a reflection of You in my words and actions. 

This is What Christmas Really Means

December is a crazy month for me every year!  Chaotic...to say the least.  Between cantatas, parties,  hyper kids, and planning my sons birthday, the joy of Christmas is usually lost somewhere among the stress and planning.   I have high hopes every year of finishing what little bit of shopping I do early but never succeed.

In Sunday School this morning we watched a video by Loui Giglio about the true meaning of Christmas.  He spoke of how it must have been so chaotic for Mary and Joseph expecting this baby and  nowhere for them to go.  He went on to say that Christ, the babe,  showed up in the middle of all that mayhem!  Christ, my Savior, was born!  It was then, in my brokenness, tears began to fall!  I realized how rotten I am and what a disaster I have made of this special time of year.  In my 36 years on this earth, this year is my first year ever "feeling" the true meaning of Christmas.   I am so glad that in my confusion and chaos all I have to do is merely speak His name, read His word, and my fears and anxieties melt away. I begin to focus on how good God is to me and just how much He loves me- even when I screw things up!  I realize that my inner struggles, that I think are huge, are nothing is comparison to those who have lost loved ones and will be without them this Christmas for the first time, someone who has just recently been diagnosed with cancer, someone will be experiencing Christmas alone this year due to Satan's attack on their marriage!  This really puts things in perspective for me!  So in the middle of my chaos, today, I choose to really celebrate the birth of baby Jesus.  I am so thankful for the birth of my Savior and His death on a cross...because He loves me...even when I am rotten!

Sufficient Grace

One of  Jordan's vocabulary words this week is sufficient.  I was calling her words out to her yesterday and she couldn't remember this one.  This provided me an opportunity to tell her of God's amazing grace and his grace being sufficient for everything!  Grace covers it all...everything!  I hope she never forgets this:) I was reminded of one of my favorite Laura Story songs....Grace

My heart is so proud.
My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things you do through me as great things  I have done.

And how You gently break me,
then lovingly you take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.

"How many times will you pick me up,
when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of your glory,
how far will forgiveness abound?"

And You answer
"My child I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."

And feel a bit discouraged,
Knowing that someone,
somewhere could do a better job.

For who am I to serve You?
I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

"How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"

And You answer
"My child I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."

You are so patient with me, Lord.

I'm learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay
was paid at Calvary.

So, instead of trying to repay You,
I'm learning to simply obey You
By giving up my life to You.

"How many times will you pick me up,
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will far short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?"

And you answer
"My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking my face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace."

God, I am thankful for your all sufficient grace!