As part of my graduate studies in nursing, our class visited the Capitol to mingle and voice our concerns of the laws that make the nurse practitioner role difficult in Georgia. If you know me at all, you know I am nothing near a political woman and I can assure you I was there because it was expected of me to go...for the grade. I remember standing there quietly, dressed professionally, pretending to be important. I knew I would never approach a Congressman and discuss anything. All around me I could here these very political, intellectual sounding conversations. In that moment, I remember feeling unimportant. In that particular instance, for me, I preferred to remain unseen and unheard...invisible. Remaining invisible is never once preference. However, there comes a time when even the quietest of people want to feel seen and heard.
Sometimes, we allow the world to convince us that we are not worthy.
Sometimes, we compare ourselves to others and quickly decide we are invisible and she isn't. We are less, she is more. We are insecure. She is confident. We are wanna be's. She has arrived. The comparison game causes us to do ugly things. We begin to strive to be heard. Then we begin to sulk and just want to throw in the towel. The feeling of being invisible begins to compound.
Sometimes, God reminds us of a recent Bible study we participated in and the scripture leaps out at us. I am reminded that other people don't necessarily speak for God. Because I am not invisible to Him, I can be in a crowded room of important strangers and remember I am seen by the only One who really matters.
Matthew 6:33 "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
One of my all time favorites...
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control."
Suddenly, I realize God is my El Roi. He sees me. He listens to me. He cares about my feelings. I am important to Him. And for some stinkin' reason, He loves me more than I will ever know.
Seeking Him,
Leah
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Friday, December 12, 2014
Older and Wiser
This year has been a year of growth for me; I have grown to realize how people operate and behave is quite a comedy yet sometimes sickening all at once. As 2014 winds down, I will share what I have learned through various circumstances...in no particular order. These are clearly observations and may or may not have directly involved me.
Adult tantrums, rants, quarrels, closely resemble childlike behavior. Adults will always in some way act like children.
People find the shortest route with the least amount of work yet always expect optimum results.
40 year old hormones do weird things to one's body.
Choosing kindness no matter what is always best.
Truth and honesty prevent a life of looking over one's shoulder in fear.
People don't receive when someone is blunt yet they thrive on the interpretations of what they think someone meant either in their words or deeds.
If you have a problem with someone...go to them, not everyone else- it's painful and sometimes difficult, but omits lots of unnecessary talk, chatter, and opinions.
God loves me no matter how busy life is!
Telling others I attend a non denominational church was strange for me in the beginning, but in today's society and culture...I have never been more proud!
I don't have to be the driver in all situations. The passenger's seat is always a thrill ride! Just buckle up and shut up!
Thoughts are sometimes best left at thoughts that never form into words.
Never say never!
Always listen to what you feel God says is best and don't let other people's opinion persuade you otherwise.
The biblical perspective of marriage can never be studied enough.
Parenting is hard!
Optimism is hard for me and I secretly (not anymore) am envious of people who are good at it.
Our pasts, no matter how good or bad, not only become the answer to every Bible study question but also follows us everywhere we go- so choose your paths carefully.
Flesh is easy to give into! When the Spirit prevails, it is always a great feeling!
God and family are really the only ones that have your best interest at heart, no matter how much others try to convince you otherwise.
What others think of me is thankfully becoming less of a driving factor for me.
I really am blessed with a job I enjoy doing and don't dread going to work.
I am still trying to learn my role as a wife and mom after 17 years of marriage.
This year I have learned the importance of family time and how awesome it feels to just be together.
Thoughtfulness is important and little things mean a whole bunch!
Fake is always ugly and truth sometimes hurts!
I am blessed (not cursed) to have experienced true forgiveness in marriage.
I really miss my mama and would live to hear her silly laugh!
Things change and people do to...but life goes on.
People can't take back wrong doings yet only learn from their mistakes, seek forgiveness, and move on with lessons learned.
Being as wise as a serpent yet innocent as a dove is an awesome theme in any situation.
Not agreeing with someone's lifestyle= I hate you...I am judging you??? This I will never understand.
Being an effective leader involves making rules, being in charge, confrontation when needed, accountability, not being a people pleaser...Unfortunately or thankfully, I would never be a good leader.
People get upset when someone decides to try to eat healthy...yep you read that right! Go figure!
People talk out of both sides of their mouth and this is quickly becoming one of my least favorite things to witness.
People go to extremes to avoid dealing with situations...That's too much work...just deal with it!
People with equals rarely accept them as equals. Power struggles will be the downfall of many relationships.
People, whether intentional or unintentional, make others feel unimportant.
Sorry if this sounds morbid but 2014 has been a very eye opening experience for me! Thanks for reading!
Adult tantrums, rants, quarrels, closely resemble childlike behavior. Adults will always in some way act like children.
People find the shortest route with the least amount of work yet always expect optimum results.
40 year old hormones do weird things to one's body.
Choosing kindness no matter what is always best.
Truth and honesty prevent a life of looking over one's shoulder in fear.
People don't receive when someone is blunt yet they thrive on the interpretations of what they think someone meant either in their words or deeds.
If you have a problem with someone...go to them, not everyone else- it's painful and sometimes difficult, but omits lots of unnecessary talk, chatter, and opinions.
God loves me no matter how busy life is!
Telling others I attend a non denominational church was strange for me in the beginning, but in today's society and culture...I have never been more proud!
I don't have to be the driver in all situations. The passenger's seat is always a thrill ride! Just buckle up and shut up!
Thoughts are sometimes best left at thoughts that never form into words.
Never say never!
Always listen to what you feel God says is best and don't let other people's opinion persuade you otherwise.
The biblical perspective of marriage can never be studied enough.
Parenting is hard!
Optimism is hard for me and I secretly (not anymore) am envious of people who are good at it.
Our pasts, no matter how good or bad, not only become the answer to every Bible study question but also follows us everywhere we go- so choose your paths carefully.
Flesh is easy to give into! When the Spirit prevails, it is always a great feeling!
God and family are really the only ones that have your best interest at heart, no matter how much others try to convince you otherwise.
What others think of me is thankfully becoming less of a driving factor for me.
I really am blessed with a job I enjoy doing and don't dread going to work.
I am still trying to learn my role as a wife and mom after 17 years of marriage.
This year I have learned the importance of family time and how awesome it feels to just be together.
Thoughtfulness is important and little things mean a whole bunch!
Fake is always ugly and truth sometimes hurts!
I am blessed (not cursed) to have experienced true forgiveness in marriage.
I really miss my mama and would live to hear her silly laugh!
Things change and people do to...but life goes on.
People can't take back wrong doings yet only learn from their mistakes, seek forgiveness, and move on with lessons learned.
Being as wise as a serpent yet innocent as a dove is an awesome theme in any situation.
Not agreeing with someone's lifestyle= I hate you...I am judging you??? This I will never understand.
Being an effective leader involves making rules, being in charge, confrontation when needed, accountability, not being a people pleaser...Unfortunately or thankfully, I would never be a good leader.
People get upset when someone decides to try to eat healthy...yep you read that right! Go figure!
People talk out of both sides of their mouth and this is quickly becoming one of my least favorite things to witness.
People go to extremes to avoid dealing with situations...That's too much work...just deal with it!
People with equals rarely accept them as equals. Power struggles will be the downfall of many relationships.
People, whether intentional or unintentional, make others feel unimportant.
Sorry if this sounds morbid but 2014 has been a very eye opening experience for me! Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Today Is The Day
There is no time like the present! Today is the day! It is for me anyway.
Yesterday was a whole different story! Yesterday was a day that held many emotions for me. It started as any other day does...busy as soon as my feet hit the floor. (As everyone's days are) I received a call and learned of the passing of a lifelong friend who was like another mother to me when I was young. I then jumped into the "wonderful world" of social media in between patients and my new feed was full of people griping about others being thankful, "only in November", people who had been hurt expressing their concerns to the world of social media, people asking for prayer because of the dreaded "c" word, and in between the cracks of yuck...I would find some encouragement or scripture. Satan then had his way with me as my mind went into a tail spin of why? why? why? Why bother? Why even try? Your past has guided you down this "love from a distance and you will be safe" kind of thinking.
Loving God and loving others as Jesus did is a major theme throughout the Bible. Loving others is hard! We can say we love others and even genuinely be concerned, but are your actions showing it? Do they know it? What little things that take very little time are you doing for them? I did not inherit the thoughtfulness gene that involves simple thank you notes when I receive gifts, remembering the importance and following through with RSVPs, sending cards, messages, texts, etc when someone is sick or in the hospital, sending notes when you haven't seen someone in a while and asking- Hey! How are things? All of these seem like second nature to so many people. IT IS NOT TO ME. But guess what, I am STILL a Christian. I am still HUMAN. You've seen the bumper stickers right? Christians aren't perfect ...just forgiven. People that hold positions in whatever arena you may be in, are humans and will fall short- they will at some point in time not meet the expectations you had for them. Why do we tend to hold standards for people, no matter what their title, at a height that we ourselves wouldn't want to be held to? Would we want their role? Are we aware of what all their role involves and what may be going on in their personal life?
If someone has hurt you...I challenge you not to do as I did yesterday and have yourself a pity party. I challenge you to ask yourself these questions. What are YOU doing to serve others? Where can YOU get involved? There are many, many things that need to be done in the body of Christ and very few that get involved. 20% doing 80% of the work. People grow weary, get tired, and need help! There is a job for you! Jesus came to serve, not be served. Don't merely be a consumer! Jump in- there's lots to be done, trust me! Today I will choose to take the lessons I have learned and move forward and begin to be intentional about thoughtfulness and loving on others. I invite you to take your eyes off of yourself and direct them towards God and serving others. Let's see where that takes us.
Honestly, I am thankful for the eye opening experience I had. We learn through our mistakes, right?
My day ended on a happy note...I went to visit my friend who had lost her mother and we laughed and reminisced about our crazy childhood and asked ourselves...how in the world did we survive? I was able to see a man who still smiles and laughs knowing confidently that his love was ready to leave this world and meet her Maker. What a blessed day! My pity party has turned to joyous singing...just ask my family about my morning run on the treadmill- I sang it out, cried it out, praised it out!
Today is the day, let's go!
Leah
Yesterday was a whole different story! Yesterday was a day that held many emotions for me. It started as any other day does...busy as soon as my feet hit the floor. (As everyone's days are) I received a call and learned of the passing of a lifelong friend who was like another mother to me when I was young. I then jumped into the "wonderful world" of social media in between patients and my new feed was full of people griping about others being thankful, "only in November", people who had been hurt expressing their concerns to the world of social media, people asking for prayer because of the dreaded "c" word, and in between the cracks of yuck...I would find some encouragement or scripture. Satan then had his way with me as my mind went into a tail spin of why? why? why? Why bother? Why even try? Your past has guided you down this "love from a distance and you will be safe" kind of thinking.
Loving God and loving others as Jesus did is a major theme throughout the Bible. Loving others is hard! We can say we love others and even genuinely be concerned, but are your actions showing it? Do they know it? What little things that take very little time are you doing for them? I did not inherit the thoughtfulness gene that involves simple thank you notes when I receive gifts, remembering the importance and following through with RSVPs, sending cards, messages, texts, etc when someone is sick or in the hospital, sending notes when you haven't seen someone in a while and asking- Hey! How are things? All of these seem like second nature to so many people. IT IS NOT TO ME. But guess what, I am STILL a Christian. I am still HUMAN. You've seen the bumper stickers right? Christians aren't perfect ...just forgiven. People that hold positions in whatever arena you may be in, are humans and will fall short- they will at some point in time not meet the expectations you had for them. Why do we tend to hold standards for people, no matter what their title, at a height that we ourselves wouldn't want to be held to? Would we want their role? Are we aware of what all their role involves and what may be going on in their personal life?
If someone has hurt you...I challenge you not to do as I did yesterday and have yourself a pity party. I challenge you to ask yourself these questions. What are YOU doing to serve others? Where can YOU get involved? There are many, many things that need to be done in the body of Christ and very few that get involved. 20% doing 80% of the work. People grow weary, get tired, and need help! There is a job for you! Jesus came to serve, not be served. Don't merely be a consumer! Jump in- there's lots to be done, trust me! Today I will choose to take the lessons I have learned and move forward and begin to be intentional about thoughtfulness and loving on others. I invite you to take your eyes off of yourself and direct them towards God and serving others. Let's see where that takes us.
Honestly, I am thankful for the eye opening experience I had. We learn through our mistakes, right?
My day ended on a happy note...I went to visit my friend who had lost her mother and we laughed and reminisced about our crazy childhood and asked ourselves...how in the world did we survive? I was able to see a man who still smiles and laughs knowing confidently that his love was ready to leave this world and meet her Maker. What a blessed day! My pity party has turned to joyous singing...just ask my family about my morning run on the treadmill- I sang it out, cried it out, praised it out!
Today is the day, let's go!
Leah
Sunday, October 12, 2014
The Struggle is Real
In this fast paced world of technology, we have allowed acronyms like LOL, SMH, TBH, etc...to replace our face to face conversations. Don't get me wrong- I am a fan of texting. It is sometimes the quicker, more convenient way to respond. However, in a previous post quite a while ago, I was banning smart phones from my life because I found myself getting wrapped up in all of the optional apps...Facebook (FB)being the main one. After reverting back to a dumb phone, I missed a some important emails from the kids teachers and a few other things and realized it was a lost cause to try to operate in this world without a smart phone because I couldn't keep up. FYI or TBH I now have a smart phone...LOL, SMH;)
I have been having an inner debate with myself...to Facebook or not to Facebook- That is the question. I have made "MY" mind up to not Facebook and I ran it by my better half of (Jason)Leah Barbee and he looked perplexed- so not sure what will come of it. My thoughts on FB- as there are some positives:
FB is a great way of communicating with groups.......IF all members of the group are actively involved in social media.
FB can easily be used to infiltrate Jesus into a world full of evil
FB is good for participating in Bible study groups and receiving/giving encouragement from/to others.
FB takes away the personal aspects of communication. Instead of calling or better yet, going to someone's face and giving them that bit of encouragement...it is posted on a wall for all the world to see. How personal is that? The opposite can still be true...when one has a problem with someone else...it allows the offended to feverishly peck out the words on a keyboard and blast someone in front of the whole world quite possibly without the offender even realizing they did anything. How mature and embarrassing is that?
FB allows people to be wolves in sheep's clothing. Things can be cleverly worded with bad motives.
FB allows people to portray a person that they really aren't...it then becomes Fakebook.
FB provides a way for the ego to be fed by seeing who and how many people like your comment.
FB consists of people who are either full of drama and post it freely or people who see the drama and spread it - as if it's not out there already. There are also those that swear off drama but stir it up anyway.
FB causes me personally more worry and anxiety. I find myself getting wrapped up in other peoples problems as if me and mine don't have enough of our own.
FB is my "nothing box"....if you are in our marriage Sunday school class, you probably know what I am talking about. For you others, men have a nothing box in their mind that they can go and "get in" and think about absolutely nothing. Women are very complex people as they are constantly thinking of different things at different angles...our wheels are constantly going. So for me, when I am trying to quieten the craziness around me or even in my mind because I have some loud thoughts....I sit and I Facebook. This takes me out of my current state of craziness and into a world that isn't mine and I can forget about some things. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT!
FB is a complete waste of lots of my time.
If you are an avid FB fan, I am in no way saying you are committing the forbidden. I am simply telling you that the struggle is real for me. I think I may have it beat though....
I have been having an inner debate with myself...to Facebook or not to Facebook- That is the question. I have made "MY" mind up to not Facebook and I ran it by my better half of (Jason)Leah Barbee and he looked perplexed- so not sure what will come of it. My thoughts on FB- as there are some positives:
FB is a great way of communicating with groups.......IF all members of the group are actively involved in social media.
FB can easily be used to infiltrate Jesus into a world full of evil
FB is good for participating in Bible study groups and receiving/giving encouragement from/to others.
FB takes away the personal aspects of communication. Instead of calling or better yet, going to someone's face and giving them that bit of encouragement...it is posted on a wall for all the world to see. How personal is that? The opposite can still be true...when one has a problem with someone else...it allows the offended to feverishly peck out the words on a keyboard and blast someone in front of the whole world quite possibly without the offender even realizing they did anything. How mature and embarrassing is that?
FB allows people to be wolves in sheep's clothing. Things can be cleverly worded with bad motives.
FB allows people to portray a person that they really aren't...it then becomes Fakebook.
FB provides a way for the ego to be fed by seeing who and how many people like your comment.
FB consists of people who are either full of drama and post it freely or people who see the drama and spread it - as if it's not out there already. There are also those that swear off drama but stir it up anyway.
FB causes me personally more worry and anxiety. I find myself getting wrapped up in other peoples problems as if me and mine don't have enough of our own.
FB is my "nothing box"....if you are in our marriage Sunday school class, you probably know what I am talking about. For you others, men have a nothing box in their mind that they can go and "get in" and think about absolutely nothing. Women are very complex people as they are constantly thinking of different things at different angles...our wheels are constantly going. So for me, when I am trying to quieten the craziness around me or even in my mind because I have some loud thoughts....I sit and I Facebook. This takes me out of my current state of craziness and into a world that isn't mine and I can forget about some things. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT!
FB is a complete waste of lots of my time.
If you are an avid FB fan, I am in no way saying you are committing the forbidden. I am simply telling you that the struggle is real for me. I think I may have it beat though....
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Painful Truths...Roll With It!
As my children grow older and become more involved in different things, I realize that there are some things I will have to give up...that things simply just change. Nothing ever stays the same these days. I am hearing a rendition of Steve Winwood's song "Roll With it Baby" playing in my head. I know that dates me but recently I have taken that as a great theme song. Some food for thought, if you will:
Life is full of ups and downs. We can expect things will go one way and they go another. Expectations will lead to disappointment. Continue to do your best...not BE THE BEST but BE the BEST YOU CAN BE. There is always someone out there better than you. This world tricks us into thinking that we never quite measure up. We are always God's number one and how we represent Him in us is what really matters. Most importantly...Never.give.up. Roll with it, baby!
Attending church on Wednesday nights may not be possible in the near future. Gasp! ....What was that? Thank goodness perfect attendance doesn't get us into heaven. I've already worked the inner debate out in my head...so I'll save you the trouble in helping me figure it out. After the guilt left me, I was reminded that I serve a God that is everywhere all the time. I don't have to be in a church- there are tons of biblical principles found on the ball field (football or softball...any sport for that matter). Also, I realized my kids will soon be grown and gone and as long as we teach them about Jesus....all is well. It's only for a short while and besides...I love watching my kids play ball. Roll with it, baby!
Sometimes life just needs to be simpler. We realize we have way more than we need. We trim down....down size...relocate. HIS plan is always better than ours. Roll with it, baby!
Jobs change. We are thrown into a new setting with new people. Make the best of it...you will be amazing wherever you are. Roll with it, baby!
We feel we mess up as parents. Constantly protecting our young. Eventually, they have to fly solo and work things out. We realize they don't learn to work through things on their own if we continue shielding them from real life situations. We admit we are wrong and painfully sit back and watch. Roll with it, baby!
Maybe if nothing else, I have taken you down memory lane with an old tune.
Thanks for reading,
Leah
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Daddy and Doot!
I remember an elementary teacher telling me when I learned to write my name that the "Jr." wasn't necessary for my name. My thoughts..."Daddy did, so why wouldn't I?"
My daddy is the reason for my furrowed brow/permanent scowl (see the pic above) and my cankles. No joke...our legs look identical from the knee down. Thanks dad :/ I have managed to escape the midsection so far....fingers are crossed on that one:)
His marriage advice to Jason when he asked his blessing on our marriage..."If Barbara Ann and me can make it, I reckon y'all can too" ...Priceless to me! Indeed we have made it.
My dad is the most laid back individual I've ever met. In my current fast-paced season of life, I still find myself longing to be just like my dad. Now don't get me wrong... I have seen him highly upset and if you ask my older sister, I would imagine she would tell you the same :-) He definitely took care of business when it was needed.
We have had our differences but have loved each other through it all!
Happy Fathers Day to the best Daddy ever! I Love You!
Doot
Monday, May 5, 2014
Sticks and Stones
"Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". I have heard this saying since I was a wee one. This, my friend, is one of the biggest lies ever told. It has taken me nearly 39 years to grasp the depth of this nonsense. This portrays the idea that physical wounds will hurt but words spoken will not even phase us. I would much rather endure physical wounds because they heal...eventually...usually- unless its beyond repair. (Never mind the fact that I have a high pain tolerance.) Words can cut to the bone and their effects last...and last...and last...and last... The blow from these can creep up years after they have even been spoken. Hurtful words can come in many shapes and sizes...they aren't always the ones said, or screamed to your face. Words laced in sweet, sappy innocence, go sour really quick when the intent is revealed. Words spoken by someone to get needed information for their own benefit, manipulate situations, or that are partial truths, or just flat out lies cut to the core.
God has a sense of humor in the way He teaches me things. I am reminded today to examine my own words and their intentions. Are they building someone up or tearing someone down?
James 3:9-12
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Blessing or curse, which will you choose?
God has a sense of humor in the way He teaches me things. I am reminded today to examine my own words and their intentions. Are they building someone up or tearing someone down?
James 3:9-12
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
Blessing or curse, which will you choose?
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Blessings and Raindrops
Witnessing a godly man, walk out his faith, peacefully, in
spite of his possibly terminal diagnosis…until the end. He smiles and shares
his wisdom, just as he always has. His body may be weak, but his heart is
strong for the Lord.
Watching a loving wife care for her sick husband and being
strong for him, giving her all without griping, complaining, or asking why…just
as God called her to do. ‘Til death us
do part.
Seeing a close friend being diagnosed with a 1 in 100,000
people rare syndrome that is debilitating and frustrating. My friend, God isn’t
a God of chance, luck, or probable statistics - He knows your name, He knows
your story, He is writing it. He will
use this for your good and His glory because you love Him.
Seeing the tears of concern and love in the wife who is
watching her husband go through something traumatic and unpredictable. My friend, God is still God…no matter
what. Stay strong!
Hearing of many long nights and weekends of studying and
pulling through until the end. Listening
to her being her husband’s greatest
cheerleader. Your hard work will soon
pay off! I know they will do work for
the Lord! I know their heart and so does
He.
Going from near divorce to being in a marriage that
hopefully exemplifies grace, God’s grace. Having the ability to love like I was never hurt.
Being blessed with the opportunity to share our story with others and
grow closer to God and each other.
Listening to my husband pray over a friend who is struggling. A friend who has been there for him in dark times. A friend loves at all times.
Reading of an old friend who just lost her dear mother to a horrible disease. Yet, seeing her smile and knowing she has peace that passes all understanding.
What if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing
comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know
He is near?
What if trials of this life are His mercies in disguise?
Today, if you are in terrible circumstances, suffering in any way, hold on tight! Cling to God and use this opportunity that has been given to fully trust in Him. You will be blessed!
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