Jason and I have been blessed with a colorful past together that we have been able to use to hopefully help others. We have facilitated...ok-mostly him...many biblical based marriage classes in the recent past. Our most recent one is my favorite, Love and Respect. There are many gut wrenching truths that were revealed in the study and tools to overcome some common struggles that marriages encounter. Honestly, these principles apply to any relationship.
Marriage was designed by God not to make us happy, but to make us holy. It represents the relationship of Christ and the church. It reveals many things about us- some good and some not so good. But one of the themes of the Love and Respect series was...my response is my responsibility. And I was reminded that really this applies to any relationship we have. Marriage is hard. People are different. Relationships are difficult. But overall...your response is your responsibility.
No matter what is done or said to you or about you and yours...to your face....behind your back....expected or unexpected-its not the person or the words that cause us to react in a negative way. Ok , I will quit sugar coating things...the person or the words don't cause us to be shocked, angry, hurt, bitter etc.... Those are choices we make! The person or the incident does not CAUSE us to act the way we do , yet it REVEALS the way that we are. So ask yourself...what is it that will spill out...Will you be a skunk or a rose? We can only change how we act/react to things. How we act/react will not change someone's bad behavior. No way, no how! Being loud and disrespectful with our hands on our hips won't change the other person. Stonewalling won't change the other person.
Another favorite concept that can certainly apply to all relationships is that Christ is revealed TO others in how we TREAT others. Whoa! Because we love God and because we are followers of Christ, we must treat others with the love of Christ. So in other words...It's not about you and ________, it's about you and Christ. Here comes the part that made me almost bolt out of the Sunday School room. Everything we do/say to our spouse, we do/say to Christ. The way we interact in conflict with others not only reveals who we are but it is also a way of revealing Christ to others and it just may be that person you are yelling at or being ugly to. So next time there is conflict with a spouse or a friend, an opportunity to speak negative against someone, a negative conversation that you dont have to attend, just picture Christ and ask yourself , "If this were Christ, would I be doing or saying these things?"
We can kick and scream all we want thinking we are all right and they are all wrong. But in the end, is that the resolution? No...we remember that the person or the circumstance is not the enemy- it is Satan, the Father of all discord and chaos who would love for people to be at each others throats. We remember that God is love and we are made in His image. We remember our response is our responsibility...no matter what! We remember that our lives as Christians should be living examples of Christ.
So when someone bumps into you, what will be revealed...a skunk or a rose?
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