Losing Control

Ever just accepted something about yourself and just settled for it thinking ..."that's just the way I am and I can't help it?" Being the youngest of four, I have always felt I had to prove my point, be heard, strive hard to be the best or just better anyway, etc...  It also could have something to do with me being very strong willed. Hmmm?   Alright already! Enough excuses!   Recently I discovered something about myself, a character trait, if you will.    Over the past few weeks I have often thought I was looking into a mirror while watching others lose control, pitch fits, sling things, slam things down, walk very hard and with entirely too much purpose.   I've listened to people and sworn it was me carrying on a conversation with myself as I listened to them speak loud and rude.  

When a revelation occurs that you are lacking in something that is very vital in your Christian walk, it is a very humbling experience.  I have intentionally ,over the last week or so, tried to keep my thoughts to myself and remember that not everyone has to hear my opinion every time.   I am like a water balloon about to explode when I feel the need to pry into a conversation with my two cents worth. 

God has placed me in several circumstances recently that allowed me to see just what I look and sound like sometimes.  Clearly I heard Him say-  Be still, Be quiet!  It matters not what you think on this matter. I am God and you are not.  It matters not what they think your opinion is.  It only matters what My opinion of you is and where your heart is- how you respond!  Wow! As the 2x4 split me wide open- it was a bittersweet moment. 

One afternoon, as my baller was at batting practice, I sat on the grassy lawn with my spread...God, my Bible, pen, paper, a wide open space, and lots of prayer.  I couldn't let this go, so I decided to study up on the matter.    I was brought to

Galatians  5:22-23. 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control.   

Did you catch the last fruit?  SELF CONTROL.  If the Spirit is in me, I bear His fruit!  I have work to do.  When I became a child of God, I took on His Spirit and it dwells in me.  I think the self control was pushed aside by me, ignored. It never was a character trait yet a Spiritual deficit. Losing control hurts others as well as your Christian walk! 

God help me tame my tongue and may my words and the meditations of my heart be pleasing unto You!