On this day, 10 years ago, marked a very tragic event for our nation. I remember the day very clearly. I had woken up early to prepare for my nursing clinical at Central State Hospital. We were on the pediatric unit working with children who were severely physically and mentally handicapped. I was very nervous about how I would handle even being there let alone the capability to help these fragile little ones. The loud cries of young ones that aren't even able to be interpreted followed by their loud bursts of laughter explained exactly what my emotions were like on this day. I remember specifically being in the room with a baby who suffered from Shaken Baby Syndrome and thinking how on earth could something so violent ever be done to an innocent child. I was brought to tears while holding this baby who couldn't even look at me and focus because her eyes wandered to and fro. The feelings of love for this baby were unexplainable. I clinched my belly and suddenly was brought back to a hapiness yet nervousness like no other. The baby growing inside of me...would it be normal? would it have some chronic illness like these babies I am faced with today?, would it look and act like me or her father? These questions ran rampant through my mind. I was an emotional wreck yet elated to even be pregnant. We had tried for quite some time (years), even used medicines to help this along, had the tests to rule out any physiological problems and so on. It was just the day before at my routine physical when I was told the news I was expecting. I had no clue! Really! People are always skeptical when they hear this...even me- until it happened.
It was mid morning at Central State when I was holding this young one when the television in the room caught my attention with breaking news. I saw where the first plane had hit the World Trade Center...disbelief....then on live footage I witnessed the second plane hit. I was standing beside a physician who had tuned out his medical sense and was struck with sadness. It wasn't long before it was assumed it was terroristic in nature due to other events unfolding. It seemed as if time stood still, everyone was glued to the television. I selfishly remember thinking...how can today be so sad for me when I was on cloud nine just yesterday? This was only the beginning of the struggle of this nation. This tragic event marks the pulling together of a nation that I am so blessed to be a citizen of.
Trials and tragedy in my personal life have brought me closer to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I pray that this ten year old tragedy will be the painful circumstance allowed by God to change our conduct and character as a nation.
Life and death can occur so quickly and unexpectedly! My blessing of life inside of me on this day ten years ago helped me emotionally process this catastrophic event! I look at my 9 year old today and it brings back such a wide range of emotions... love outweighing them all!
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